“Prepare yourself for a ridiculous romp through some of the most famous art museums in the world.”

Phalluses in Forks, Fireworks, Fans, Fiddles, Flowers, Fish

Pudenda in Cats, Curtains, Corkscrews

S&M, VD, STD, and the dreaded PMD!

Once discovered …

… they can never be unseen!

This book studies salacious details in 17th &18th century art. Nearly 100 beautiful full colour paintings with short and fascinating explanations.

After a short introduction to the long history of Dick Pics in art, we study two artists in particular – the Dutchman Jan Steen, and the Englishman, William Hogarth.  There are many surprises hidden within their art works!

“Finally, an art book for people who don’t go to galleries!”

- Person who had never read an art history book before.

Pricing Packages

Download or order your hardcopy today!

Introductory Price $29 (regular $36)
250+ glossy printed images
Introductory Price $14 (regular $19)
PDF digital version
250+ images
More Colour

If you want to help me with my studies, please see options at the bottom of this page.


From the Absolutely Absurd to the Exceedingly Sexual 

– Crucified Frogs to Orgasmic Curtains 

– Martini Glasses to Orgy Caves 

– ‘Masonic Up-Skirting’ to Pudenda Gardens 


You will Learn: 

– How 007 got his number 

– The Inspiration for the Orgy Scene in ‘Eyes Wide Shut’ 

– All the Freemason’s Signs and ‘Secret Knocks’


WARNING – You might never look at art in the same way again!

Purchase Now

Friends who know just how long I have spent on this research can support me by clicking a button below this line!


In addition to the Full ebook, you will support me in my studies by also buying a 21 page ebooklet (with 50 illustrations). It gives you all the bits that did not make it into the first book. Click here to see a list of some of the crazy stuff I found …

SEQUEL - 'Copycats'

I spent my islolation putting together a book of amazing artists who copied Hogarth’s work.

Click for more details …


Help me produce a short film that explains Hogarth’s works – the Harlot, Rake and those ill-suited Squanderfields (from Marriage a la Mode)! 

Your name in the credits, and a quarterly newsletter with All Things Hogarthian.

Click to see my progress so far …